About Reggie

Reggie Walker was the kind of guy who seemed to have his life all figured out. A career in the NFL, money, cars, prestige – to the outside world, he had it all. But inside, he was slowly falling into a dark abyss that he thought would swallow him whole.

Born in Fairbanks Alaska, Reggie grew up in Missouri and Sacramento. He was obsessed with football, becoming one of the top high school linebackers in the state of California. He was a Metro Conference selection, and the league’s defensive MVP. A stud off the field, he was also involved in the math honors club. 

After college, Reggie was drafted by the Arizona Cardinals and subsequently went on to play for the San Diego Chargers, eventually signing with the Denver Broncos.

The world was his oyster. What the world didn’t know was the crushing weight of the secret Reggie was carrying with him all those years: he had been mentally, physically, and sexually abused by a family friend as a child. He kept this secret from everyone, even his own family.

The world saw a powerful linebacker. But Reggie saw a small child, running desperately from the boogieman. Running, screaming, clawing, grasping at anything to help him escape being swallowed by the darkness.

And so he took it out on the field. Football had become an outlet for his anger. The violence on the field was not only accepted, it was celebrated. Refusing to take off his helmet for fear of showing his face, he burned with rage as he spiraled out of control. 

The very game he thought would bring him happiness, pulled him deeper into the abyss. Despite his achievements, he still felt broken. Football, he realized, was just a bandaid, a crutch. But he needed it to release his anger. Eventually, he found that he enjoyed the violence but felt nothing. Saw nothing. Just darkness.

Yet, as the glue of his young family, Reggie had to keep it together, pushing it all down, compressing it like a spring… harder and harder.

Finally, it all exploded. Reggie couldn’t run any more. The weight of his dark secret had finally crushed him. And so one day, Reggie did something that seemed unthinkable to everyone around him: he walked away from football. Suicidal and broken, he knew he needed help.

He started weekly therapy but it wasn’t enough. So, he checked himself into a 30-day inpatient treatment program and began the long climb out. His kids helped ground him, reminding him of what really matters and why he’s here.

Now on the other side, Reggie has realized that he is good enough. He has embraced himself, his past, his present, and his future, whatever it may hold. He doesn’t hide himself anymore. The tears, the fears, the imperfections - it’s all there. The helmet has come off for good.

Books

The Alchemist