From the Episode

About Shea

When Shea was in Mrs. Murphy’s fifth grade class, he raised his hand to share his two dreams: playing Major League Baseball and owning a zoo. The class laughed at him and as he put his hand down, he vowed to prove them wrong.

The summer before his sophomore year in high school, Shea’s family moved from SoCal to Arizona. Guess when is not a good time to move a kid to a new city? And so, Shea struggled – with his self esteem, his confidence, and his relationship with his father. Thankfully, he found comfort in sports. He excelled in soccer and became Arizona’s top ranked player, but none of that was good enough for his dad.  

Meanwhile, Shea did whatever it took to make his MLB dreams a reality, walking onto a community college team and eventually securing a spot and becoming Arizona’s top junior college baseball player after his sophomore season.

Shea was obsessed with baseball. As a young Dodger fan in the 80s, he remembers the crack of the bat, the freshly cut grass, the roar of the crowd. But he also imagined himself in the batter’s box as thousands called his name. 

The difference between Shea and the countless kids obsessed with ball games?

On Opening Day 2001, Shea took the field at Fenway Park as the Boston Red Sox starting third baseman. And with the national anthem blaring over the speakers, Shea remembered that determined fifth grader in Mrs. Murphy’s class as tears streamed down his face. 

He’d made it. But as the seasons passed, he realized that he was playing the game for the wrong reasons, and he still didn’t have his father’s approval. And after seven years, he could take it no longer and he walked away. From his childhood dream, from $50 million, and from the life he thought he’d always wanted.

Shea turned his attention to his second dream, buying a 38 acre horse farm for $6 million and filling it with 300 farm and exotic animals. As the business grew and countless children laughed away the days in the petting zoo, Shea thought that this is what he’d been searching for. But again, fulfillment eluded him.

And so, one night, he found himself in a white van parked outside his house, with a bottle of vodka and pills, staring down the only way out he knew would be absolute. As his kids slept in their beds, proud of their baseball playing dad, he chased the pills with the vodka and let go.

Luckily for Shea and many others, he woke up the next morning to the sun shining down on him through the windshield. He was alive, although with one hell of a hangover. 

Shea took it as a sign. Slowly, painfully, one little win at a time, he started to take control of his life. As his momentum built, he met his wife Kristen, redefined his identity, and transformed himself to seek fulfillment from the inside, realizing that if he’s not good enough for himself, he’ll never be good enough for anyone else.

It’s an ongoing process, but Shea is relentless. See, it was never about baseball or even the zoo. It had been about Shea, all along. On the other side of the abyss, Shea has embraced his mission of helping others through their own emotional turmoil, and he’s never been happier.